


Count your Blessings (the ones you gained and the ones you lost)

by Player1isgreat



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: BBS canon divergent, Gen, Keyblade War mentioned, Let Ven be in Ursus YOU COWARDS!, PTSD implied, Union X speculations/spoilers, UnionX characters mentioned, Ventus the underestimated Leader, brief mention of panic attacks, memory loss mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-07 00:20:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19073656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Player1isgreat/pseuds/Player1isgreat
Summary: Drabble AU of Ven getting his memories back early, and the residents of the Land of Departure realizing there's more than meet the eye.





	1. The blessings you gained

In the dead of night, Aqua was the first one to hear him scream. With horror on her tail, she dashed through the castle's hall to the blonde's chamber, hoping to ease him of the midnight fright.

It was only a matter of time before she held Ven close, shushing his whimpers and the nightmares he very well forgot. While Aqua never wanted to press on those matters, he should know that the incident was far behind him.  
As long as he was in the Land of Departure, he can heal his broken heart... 

"Ven...It's okay, I'm here." The blinding light in his bedroom revealed the shaken blonde, his breathing harsh and desperate as she stroked his hair; "It was just a nightmare. There's nothing to worry about."

The seconds were well-deserved as he latched on for dear life, staining her nightshirt as the horror slowly rolled off his shoulders, leaving those ocean-blue eyes red and stuffy. However, he looked up, boring into Aqua's caring gaze with a distant one, the familiar longing for comfort seemed...different.  
  


_"...Where's Chirithy?"_

"Don't worry...I'm right here." She only repeated, keeping the confusion at bay for tonight; "It was only a bad dream." There was a slight sniffle, wanting to say more, but Ven softly leaned into her touch, drowsiness easily overtaking him for the moment.

"Are you alright now? ...Think you can sleep through tonight?" He could only nod, gingerly sliding under the covers as Aqua ran through his hair once more. 

"Sleep tight, Ven."

And just like that, blissful darkness claimed the chamber, leaving her the clear semblance of Terra, waiting patiently by the hall as well. 

"Who's Chirithy?"

"I don't know..." She finally admitted, "I could find out in the morning...Goodnight, Terra." 

~~ 

Just like every morning before, he was the same old Ven in the end, bright and energetic for a day of training. He was quick to leave a nightmare behind, facing every new day with a cheerful smile to Terra, Aqua, and Eraqus...However, from what Aqua saw last night, it was nothing like before. 

Instead of bounding over to the kitchen for breakfast, Ven quietly meandered through the cupboards, grabbing a leftover muffin and wandered the halls, looking just as spaceless as the first day he stepped through the castle doors. And just as he found the room for the study, hours passed like minutes as she saw him surrounded by ancient novels; each one more antique than the last. It wasn't strange for the young bookworm to dedicate the day in the library, but nothing could unhinge her apprehension about how he looked so _lost_...If it was something related to this "Chirithy", there wasn't a single shred of evidence to prove its existence. 

Whether or not they were his recovering memories, there wasn't anything to help the fact that something was different. 

As soon as Ventus stormed out of the library with a pout, she gathered together what he recklessly abandoned. Every single tome held stories and tales about the mystical past, the War that set everything in motion.   

~~

Ven wasn't usually the quiet child, even if he was glued to the hips with Terra, helping Aqua with baking, and listening on to Eraqus read the fairytales available. No matter where he went, he felt comfortable with someone in his sights, a little duckling following its mother.  

He was no stranger to silence either, but as Aqua caught sight of him on the mountain cliffside, buried in the pages of a tome and plastered with a _fierce_ determination, Ven wasn't someone to miss a sparring session with the two of them.

"Hey, Ven...What are you reading?" He didn't bother looking up, even if she carefully sat next to him. 

_"You wouldn't understand."_  

"Are you sure?" She playfully teased; "Terra and I had to read the older books cover to cover, it's no easy task." 

_"That's alright."_  His disposition was unwavering in the slightest, _"I have plenty of time."_

And not enough time to practice?

He wouldn't miss a competition for the world... 

Maybe it's an off day...Finally, with a regretful sigh, she let his side.

"Fine, have it your way. You'll be missing out on a lot of fun." There was nothing on his end, not even a grunt of approval, just letting the world unknowingly pass him by.

~~

Another day was upon them, and Aqua quickly saw how estranged their bond has become. There were none of his studies in the training hall, but he sat on the throne's descent, watching the two adults practice with both finesse and grace. Not that it was an awe-inspiring sight, but he would gladly join the group in a heartbeat as soon as it died down. But as soon as she lowered her blade, wiping the sweat from her brow, she saw the blonde as pale as a sheet, plastering his gaze to Terra alone.

"Ven, you alright over there?" Terra was quick to notice, trying to close the distance as he flinched, only slightly, even as the Keyblade vanished in his grip.

Ven knowingly hesitated, the color blending to blushing pink, trying to ignore the fear in his eyes. 

_"...I wanna train with Aqua..."_  It came out like a whisper, dodging Terra's playful grin. 

"Alright then, but if she kicks your butt, don't blame me." 

 

There was a chuckle, just loud enough for both of them to hear, but his shoulders refused to relax at this unusual display of anxiety. 

Even if he didn't want to show it, Aqua clearly knew something was wrong. Still, she was glad he put up the effort...With a practiced stance, Ve-

Aqua barely blinked, and the blonde vanished in thin air. She wasn't sure if it was Terra shouting for her to look out, her heightened senses catching the wind shift behind her, neither or both, but Rainfell just grazed the impending threat; a raging inferno burning in those oceanic eyes. Before she could even comprehend it, perhaps the Darkness of competition, he jumped and slid to his target, a fierce Aero practically marking every step. 

Never in a million years have he obtained such speed, and it wasn't helping Aqua in the slightest to assume the boy was prepared to strike her down. Nevertheless, the impromptu brawl went just as quickly as it began, leaving both Terra and Aqua at a loss for words.  

"Ven..." She hoarsely gasped, holding up just enough will to not collapse; "How-...How did you do that?" 

The boy only grinned ear-to-ear, looking downright  _proud_ of the previously impossible beatdown, scratching the back of his head in thought. 

_"Come on, don't you know? Speed beats magic all the way!"_  

Of course, no one could clearly hit a moving target, that's for sure, but that didn't answer her question in any way...But once he caught a glance of Wayward Wind, the one Keyblade he possessed for those four long years, he stopped right in his tracks. His smile dropped as he studied the blade, looking just as wide-eyed and surprised as the day he summoned it, giving it an experimental swing in the process. 

For that brief second, he seemed like a completely different person, another stranger in the body of their best friend.  

_"This is nice..."_ There was another smile, as though he was given a new toy; _"I could get used to this."_

Neither Aqua or Terra had anything to say, their words swallowed in the depths of their confused hearts. 

Was this the Ven they've always known...? 

~~~  

No matter how brief or long he was in the Master's presence, Ven always seemed to push himself a little harder than normal. His swings would cut more air, his magic glowing more fiercer, pushing his body to the limit by any means necessary. Even if he was young, it was a long way away before he could prove himself to be a Master of his own. Nevertheless, Eraqus was quite alarmed at his sudden burst of productivity.   

However so, after the training debacle was noted and resolved, a familiar blonde greeted him at his chamber door, his cheeks puffy and red from the tears. 

 

_"Master...? Can I talk to you?"_ He choked out the question with a wavering determination, a child holding shards of courage in his strained fists. Besides that, Eraqus ushered the boy inside, leaving the room as silent as the candle's flame. 

"Ventus, what's the matter?" The man crouched down in front of him, gently grasping his shoulders; "Did you have another nightmare?"

No matter how naive and innocent the boy has become, the dreams plaguing him were a threat to the worlds themselves. While his heart held the lingering trauma of Xehanort's failures, it was the failure of obtaining the forbidden Keyblade. No matter how much he pitied Ventus, the memories of the X-Blade still laid dormant, waiting to be uncovered. But as the blonde wallowed in the tears, he shook his head, denying the scenario. 

_"We...We failed, didn't we...?"_  His tears silently fell on the hard marble; _"I don't understand, Master...What did we do wrong? We did everything we were supposed to, so I thought they all forgot. Did we mess something up? What if we-"_

"Ventus...You need to look at me." His grip tightened, gentle and stern, just enough to grab the boy's attention, "Whatever this is, I have no reason to believe that you've done anything wrong. You're still so young, Ventus, there's no need to work yourself this much...You're doing a great job, I promise you that." 

_"Then why am I here?"_ 

Easily enough, that threw Eraqus through the loop, dread swarming in his heart for whatever would come next. If he wanted answers, he needed to stay calm... 

 

"Ventus..." He started once again; "Haven't you forgotten anything?" 

_"-Of course not! How could I forget something as important as this!?"_ Ven suddenly snapped, _"I just-... I don't really know. I'm not that special, and I haven't done anything important yet, but you're all so nice to me...To be honest, I've never really had this before." _

His hands drifted towards the Master's own, fingers trembling under the pressure. 

_"Master...When can I go home? My friends will be worried, and-..."_  There was another sniffle, and the tears began to pour; _"I want to go home...I want my friends, I want to be loved by people that actually care about me. Master, please...Please let me go..."_

Very soon, he was a quivering mess, those strong and supportive hands being his only lifeline. He could no longer deny the fact, even if the evidence is right in front of him...Ventus held a massive burden, perhaps one before Xehanort's apprenticeship and this forgiving world was beginning to suffocate him. 

"I'll make the decision in the morning, alright?" Finally, he held the boy closer, crying himself to fatigue; "You've been through a lot, I understand that...Everything will get better once you get some sleep."

_"Alright..."_ With a slight huff, Ven finally made his way to the door; _"Goodnight, Master..."_

"Goodnight, Ventus." As silence reclaimed the evening, Eraqus let the dreams brew until the morning.


	2. The blessings you lost

Another day has dawned, giving way to another morning of silence. While the dining room would be filled with the clammer of silverware and gentle small talk, it was also time to relax before their usual training. While Ventus caught wind of their routine, he felt like more of an invader to this intricately-woven schedule. 

Even if he saw the sun rise and set with the hours, his thoughts wandered to this very world being a nightmare, tempting him to oblivion with false kindness and warmth. 

 

Perhaps that explained why the War was immortalized in fairytales... 

_'Go to sleep, Ventus. You only had a nightmare.'_  

But if he fell asleep, will he ever wake up...? 

His Keyblade, his Chirithy, his rulebook, and his friends were nowhere to be seen, but within his pitiful heart, he was glad they wouldn't have to suffer this kind of fate. 

"Ven, you barely touched anything." The blue-haired woman, Aqua, was the one to usually notice, just twirling his spoon in the soggy mess of a meal. 

He wasn't hungry anyway... 

_"Can we talk, the four of us? It's really important..."_   

"Of course," She was too quick to confirm; "I'll make sure they know."

_"Okay...I'll be in the library."_  

 

As he left the table to rot, the silence took root in his mind. No matter what he did, the mirages were too nice, too apologetic, undermining his strength between their falsified displays. He recognized their strengths, weaknesses, everything else becoming amplified from his own experiences in the waking world, but it still twisted to the realities of the mind. 

Did he wish for a world without responsibility, a world with the peace and quiet he frantically craved since he held the Keyblade? It was convincing, insanely lucid sure, but nothing could beat the life he currently had, the friends he begged for that understood everything he fought for...

For now, nothing else, not even this entire world, could beat that kind of friendship.

~~ 

"So, Ven...What do you want to talk about?"

Terra was far too nonchalant for his taste, even if his colors and blade mirrored his terrible Master, and the Master in this realm was older than he would imagine a man of great strength and knowledge as well. But in that weathered support the night before, he almost poured out his heart into those constricting fingers. He begged him to understand, to see through this horrible illusion of life...But even the Master of this dream, or perhaps another puppet, would never understand. 

The War was better off forgotten, not glorified in stories of redemption and second chances...For now, Ventus shook the thought away, lest he wanted to spiral into absurdity. Perhaps he could start with that...He just needed to be as straightforward as possible... 

 

_"Okay..."_ With a gentle inhale, he already felt his heart starting to hammer; _"I know this may sound weird...-To you, I mean...But...am I...am I in a dream?"_ Their reactions were immediate and predictable, the simple mix of shock, confusion, and confoundment.

"Ven...What are you talking about?" Despite it all, Terra looked utterly betrayed; "How can you be so sure?"

_"I just know it! How am I supposed to know that you're not tricking me? I'm tougher than I look, and I'm not falling for your evil ways, not anymore!"_ Ventus puffed his chest out in the process, a rightful surge of pride emanating within. Whether or not if this world was his own creation, at least he could find some way to assert himself.

After all, that's what a Leader's supposed to be!

"To be honest, even you have me surprised, Ventus." The Master equally sighed; "Perhaps you _have_ changed." 

Ven's smile quickly fell at the fact, though the same could be said for Terra and Aqua as well.

_"Is that what you mean from last night? Whatever you have in mind, this is the me I've known my whole life, there's nothing else to it!" _

Aqua gasped, "Then...You remember!?" 

_"Of course I do, that's what I told the Master here!"_  Very soon, his temper, an old and weary flame, began to roar; _"I didn't forget, I'm being serious! So why in the worlds am I here, huh!? Am I being held hostage and you're breaking me down, is that it? Maybe that's why those books exist, about the War, you want to know what happened,_   _right!? Whatever this is, y_ ou _better tell me right now!"_

 

If it was a fake, the pounding in his ears and strain in his throat felt real enough. Even if he woke up in his own bed again, he might as well wake up with a more than satisfying confidence boost...

His body didn't stop shaking as Terra placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, not even looking into those heartbroken eyes. 

"Ven, we would never-...You were never locked up in here, you were in a bad accident and you couldn't remember, that's all. You were getting pretty strong too, I know...But do you really think this is a bad place?"

An _accident_...Is that what they say? 

Nothing seemed to line up, they're just making stuff up, he was positive of it. 

_"I told you, I mean it..."_  He gritted his teeth, _"I don't know what your definition of strength is, but mine was nothing like this...So stop looking at me like I'm just a kid! You have no idea what I've been through, none of you!"_

His face was ablaze in a sea of red, fighting back the tears from either rage or embarrassment...The secrets were slipping out one after another at this point. In the back of his fevered mind, he recalled one of the many excerpts in the books he used to read, the disquieting air of Daybreak flitting through his window. 

_'Anger is known to be a primitive form of Darkness...No matter how pure of heart one may be, that Darkness always balances out the blinding Light inside...'_  

 

Anger against this sheltered world of Light, a world that throws away the pain and suffocates the heart with practiced kindness...If they knew the pain he was feeling right now, he should wake up from this nightmare of a paradise...  

"If what you say is true..." Eraqus haphazardly muttered; "But...that's not right..." 

_"-What? What do you have for me now, another useless lie?"_  

"Nothing but the absolute truth, Ventus. The ancient War happened over thousands of years ago, the story passed down from generations. Do you believe the time is mistaken for you?"

Ven's heart stopped, right then and there. 

The tears were clinging to his cheeks, but he just wanted to let them flow, to make sure their hearts were only filled with deceit. His own heart cried for injustice, he remembered these fairytales like it was yesterday, but at the same time, it felt like _ages_...perhaps longer than what he says...  

The Masters knew everything and he trusted that, though some of their teachings would  _vary_ , it was still another weakness in his uncountable pile of flaws. But where would he be if he didn't trust the words of Master Ava, without his best friends and with a happy life behind the ruin?

 

_"Oh..."_ His voice came out like a breeze, stirring the droplets as they fell to the floor, blurring the pages in his mind. He then began to laugh, _"Wow, this is-...I thought I was going crazy...What was I thinking? I'm just stupid, that's what..."_

"Ven..." He greeted their embrace with a stinging joy, the familiar warmth of these strangers who only knew comfort. For now, no matter what his heart said, he really needed it.

~~~~

In all honesty, he couldn't believe four years went by so fast. One minute Ventus was ushered through the door with a dead look in his eyes, the next he's scorching everyone that gets too close to him, his soul alight with an unquenchable inferno. While it was a sudden change, Terra tried to welcome it either way. As far as circumstance goes, they're lucky enough to see a new side to the blonde, a life outside the Land of Departure and Xehanort's tutelage that he seemed extremely protective about. 

    

When it came to prying on Ven's personal life, karma deals its justice rightfully, even in the most unusual fashion.

_'I'm not trusting you...You're a lot like my Master...' Ven bitterly noted, crossing his arms in a private frustration._

_'Oh really? How is he like me?'_

_'You have no idea! He's a giant bear of a Master, he's really strong and mean and I hate him...'_

_'Come on, Ven, don't be like that. I'm not_ that _mean.' His tiny excuse was met with another pout, holding back the thought on how the older man would be more on the grizzly side of the bear._

But even if their brotherly bond began to weaken, Ven's attachment to Aqua grew tenfold. The adoration was understandable, to say the least, someone far more agile and graceful than him, every swing of her Keyblade marked with a wondrous spark of magic. With their young friend looking at the world with a new set of eyes and memories, for Terra to say he was thrilled was more than an understatement. While his trauma was left behind, Eraqus approved his wishes on the cusp of his recovery. 

 

When he remasters his use of the Keyblade Armor and Glider, he would be free to go  _home_ , not to the Master that carefully deserted him.

Even if they didn't know which world he lived on, Ven was undeniably thrilled...

Did he even think about how much they'll miss him?

~~~~ 

Aqua didn't need to turn to the blonde, intently staring her down like a hawk as she adamantly went about her baking. As much as he enjoyed sweets, he always watched the master at her work, eyes full of wonder and glee as the kitchen became her stage.

"Is something wrong, Ven?" When she stole a glance at the boy, his gaze was intensified, almost studying her every move.

_"...Are you sure you guys are my friends?"_ His brow was raised, a questionable atmosphere enveloping them; _"I mean, you're really nice and all...But what's so great about me anyway?"_

His meltdown from beforehand still burned in her mind, trying to understand his fear and frustration amidst the calming undertone of the world, perhaps even trading out the naive boy from before to an anxious, almost paranoid temperament. Behind her cool disposition, Aqua was anxious to understand how his heart became so damaged; how he watched every person with cruel suspicion, stubbornly hiding in a shell of betrayal and doubt.  

 

He's been hurt, so much so that he saw the world as a double-edged knife...If she had the time to make him open up, perhaps she can help him change...

"Well..." Thankfully, she snapped out of her stupor, humming gently in consideration; "You're thoughtful, that's for sure, and you're very smart for your age. I really admire that part of you, Ven...So how can we _not_ be friends?"

For the strangest reason, he seemed unconvinced, his frown deepening slightly.

_"So what? Chirithy tells me that all the time...But come on, you can say it, I'm really strong for my age, right?"_

To her own surprise, a laugh made its way to her lips. "Of course you are, you really surprised me back there. Maybe you can show Terra a few moves."

_"Nah, I don't wanna push my luck..."_ But just like that, a familiar grin peeked through the nihilism; _"So~, is that a yes? Can I be your friend?"_

Aqua smiled, a warm and caring one, "From the bottom of my heart." 

The wall he set up fell down with an equal smile, almost as radiant as the sun itself, closing the distance between the two. While she never expected to gain his trust so easily, it was a start...

 

"Now Ven, can I ask you a question?" She resumed her work, fingers dancing like fine needles.

_"Yeah, what's up?"_

"Is there a reason why I'm just your friend? Why not Terra?" 

_"You remind me of someone nice..."_  There was a small hum, then he continued, _"Well, a couple of people, really. I don't know why, but you just seem...likable."_

"Thanks for the compliment," She silently replied; "but can you explain a bit? I'm all ears right now."

Out of the corner of her eye, he took the challenge with great exuberance.

_"Well, you have lots of blue, like a lot, just like Master Invi! She's really quiet, and I heard she likes to read a lot. Skuld told me a bunch about her, and her food is amazing~! Did you know she used to work in a Party? I was pretty jealous, really...But I guess being a Party Leader's a lot of work. -Oh, and there's Master Ava too! I don't really know her too well, but I heard she's friends with everyone, and I mean everyone she meets! Man, I wish you could meet her...Then you two would be the best of friends."_ 

Very soon, he was gasping for breath, a sign of newfound courage still twinkling in his eyes. It was more of a surprise for Aqua, even with the mention of two unknown Masters. But she couldn't shake the fact of how  _proud_ he looked...

The flame was snuffed out in an instant. 

 

_"...Sorry."_ He unfortunately muttered, _"I must've been blabbering, huh?"_

"I guess so, but you don't have to apologize." Even if it wasn't the same smile, it was a familiar warmth; "Your friends sound nice, maybe better than me."

_"They sure are! But Skuld's my friend, not the Masters. It's a bit ironic...Ava's so nice, so caring, but I only met her once...I kinda wi-"_ Suddenly, he shook his head, banishing the thought; _"Man, I'm really talking a lot...Um, do you need help with the cake?"_

"Of course..." Time may not be in her favor, but at least he was smiling. "It's vanilla, by the way. Not too sweet for Terra's standards, but just enough for us."

~~

Even as the training sessions had passed, Wayward Winds seemed to remain in Ven's grip, mindlessly swinging it around like nothing was wrong with the world.  

_'Sorry...It's just a habit.'_  

No matter what, he always brushed off the unease, adding another piece to this increasingly complicated puzzle. It was a small but minute manner, and she was more than happy for her and Terra to reteach him the Glider, reminiscing on the playful times before.

 

_"Hey, Aqua?"_ The cool mountain breeze stirred his golden locks, picking at the wildflowers in folly. _"How did you get your Keyblade?"_

"Why do you want to know?" 

_"Just curious...I didn't have the time to ask, really."_ After all, they were running on loose sand at this point...It will only be a matter of time before he leaves for good.  
In all honesty, Aqua hoped he would think of visiting...  
  
"It was a long time ago...I'm sure the Master did the Inheritance Ceremony when I was your age, but I only got my Keyblade a couple of years afterward."  
  
_"Even Terra...?"_ He continued, oddly puzzled.  
  
"Of course, though he was pretty headstrong when he was younger, so he's _nothing_ compared to this."  
  
Surprisingly enough, his expression was completely blank, comprehending it all with a strange hesitation.

 

_"I only heard that people get their Keyblades if they have a bright enough heart. Whatever this 'ceremony' is, it must've been important to you."_ With the flora cast aside, his blade replaced the emptiness; _"My Master said that a Keyblade is the greatest first impression anyone could ever get...I always thought it would work for my old one, but when I look at you two, I could see how much they fit."_

"You could say as much." She adamantly noted, "and it's said that a Keyblade is formed by the heart itself...I suppose that one is working in your favor?"

_"By a long shot! You have no idea how hard it is to find a Key my size, and it's a lot lighter than anything else...I wouldn't trade this for the worlds, not in a million years."_

Even for a boy so young, he was given a mighty burden...How Keyblades worked in his time is a stranger mystery than she thought. 

~~~~ 

There was so much to do, so much to say, but they all had so little time... 

Behind closed doors or beyond the blonde's earshot, they would exchange everything they knew, every little change in both his mind and matter, gathering up as many tomes and ancient text they could find on the subject. 

The Age of Fairytales, a mystical era that told uncountable stories of a real-life fantasy, a World undivided by the Ocean Between.  From everything Ventus told them, to their best interest or his, more and more of his past became clearer by the second. No matter how enriching his life had been, the tales he gave were nothing on the sweet and loving side, alone in the world with a Master disillusioned with the prospect of power.

Though he had the vague comforts from a "Chirithy", outside Keyblade Masters, and friends he cherishes more than ever, one could only assume he achieved such a feat past the man's control. 

In the back of Eraqus' mind, he feared that the cycle spun once more with his old colleague, spewing outlandish tales of the X-Blade's revival and another War. Perhaps he should have thought about this "incident" in depth...But what would he ever tell Ventus if he doesn't remember Xehanort? 

As far as he knew, he was much happier without the knowledge, even when the next morning could mean his departure. Regrettably so, perhaps it was better for Eraqus to leave it unsaid, no matter how heavy the weight would become. 

~~~~  

In the dead of night, Ventus was lazily watching the stars twinkling in the window, not a single hint of sleep in his eyes. It wasn't helping him in the slightest that he was prepared, prepared to leave definitely but prepared for the adults to hold him back.

He knew they were going to be upset, but he never had something like this...  

A soft bed to trump the Clocktower's, a mountain view with no pesky houses in the way, and Keyblade wielders (Keyblade Master included) that no longer follow the rules he was painfully chained to. For once in a very long time, he didn't have to worry about the Worlds after or the Dandelions he had to lead, completely unburdened...But there was no way to get rid of the swirling anxiety and terror in his heart.

Past his eager smiles and enthusiasm for the Land of Departure, his brain was abuzz with possibilities, silently hoping for something familiar to grace him instead of cheap fabrications. While he was glad to be friends with Aqua, Terra, and Master Eraqus, it only made him miss his old friends more than ever. He knew they would never understand, no matter how much he told them, lifting the pressure of those hastily kept secrets...No matter what they knew, they never changed for his benefit. 

 

They would never be like his friends...But as the stars continued to shine, the thought continued to terrify him.

Did they even care if he was gone? 

If they even looked for him, he would have sensed it either way. Aqua was nothing compared to Skuld's magic or Lauriam's charm, Terra was a little too athletic for Ephemer's thirst for adventure, and Eraqus was far too charismatic and intelligent as Blaine, so much so that it was too scary to consider. 

There was no way to replace the feeling of home when Ven was in their presence, smiles warm and inviting that knew his pain and fought it in their own way...He would want _those_ days immortalized in fairytales, leaving the World's destruction behind it all. 

 

They were his Light, his hope and his only wish that helped him slave through every morning. The sky blended into an unruly mess of light and stardust, gleaming in his tears as they stained the pillow.

Did they leave him behind, just like everyone else? 

He loved them from the bottom of his heart, so they would never abandon him...right? 

He didn't want to be alone, not again and never again...They'd never leave him in a world full of strangers, _never_... 

Ven finally pulled his gaze away from the worlds mocking him, those Heartless jewels innocently staring into his soul. With nightmare-black hair and skin as pale as moonlight, the boy looked more like a figment than reality, the predator of all his fears looking close to fall asleep himself...

Even if the Darkness of his heart was playing tricks with him, Ven felt strangely at ease. After all, he faced that fear almost every day of his life...

 

**"Aren't you scared of me?"**  The lethargy left him, those same eyes holding a deep irritation under the surface, hours wasting away until dawn's first light.

_"I'm scared of being alone...If that's what you're asking..."_  

Those serpentine eyes narrowed, the quickened thrums of his heart childishly hidden under the covers. Then, there was a sigh, the tension turning passive once more. 

**"Go to sleep, Ventus."** _This is only a nightmare..._  

Ven pulled the blanket closer, every trace of warmth leaving his fingertips as the tears formed anew.

_"Don't leave me, please..."_  

**"If you're not going to waste all night, I won't...No use crying over it."**

Despite the phantom's quiet poison, he let the drops lull him, silently embracing the glow of those amber-gold stars; their gentle breaths whispering in the night.

 

**"You'll know where to find me..."**

As the new day began, he woke up all alone.

~~

Besides the clothes on his back, his new shoulder guard, a couple of books from the study and a duffel bag, he didn't bother to take anything else. Homesickness beat fondness by a long shot, so there was no need to get too attached to anything big.

He had just enough stories to bring along, that's for sure. 

Just before he reached the door, the intoxicating waft of breakfast reached his nostrils, lightly stirring his stomach to life. Of course, they wouldn't let him leave without something to eat...It was a comforting sight, to say the least.  

"Morning, Ven." Terra greeted him, trying to pry his gaze away from his luggage; "You're up early..." 

"Don't worry about it, I just finished." Aqua was quick to assess, setting down a steaming plate of cakes among other marvels of the breakfast world.

 

Despite the somber undertone, even if they're so desperate to hide it, Ven could only smile at the attempt, a gentle and sincere one. 

_"Thank you...for all of this, really. I can't be grateful enough of you taking care of me."_  Just under the table, a familiar anxiety coursed through his fingers;  _"I'll be sure to tell my friends all about it."_

"You're very welcome, Ventus." The Master noted, "We don't want to keep them waiting any longer." 

_"Yes, Master."_  Silence quickly consumed the table, enjoying their final meal together as a mismatched family.

A _family_...Has he ever considered them as a family...? 

Once he finds his friends, maybe...maybe they'll tell him. 

~~  

In the wasteland of howling winds, suffocating heat, and markers of lives past, a flicker of green weakly shone through the despair, twirling uselessly about the sleeve of his cargo.

 

_'It's a good-luck charm.' With an oblivious smile, the discolored Lux spun on some old twine; 'I thought I'd make one for the three of us, just so we can think of each other...'_ _It was a strange memento, even with the pretense that was foolishly created, it was heartwarming, oddly enough._

_As long as no one knows the truth, there should be no regrets. And as the adults gave their hugs and goodbyes, he wanted to cry not for this world, but the fear latching to his heart like an old friend._

 

_Don't let it be true...Kingdom Hearts above, please..._  

The world spun on a cycle of its own, a fever dream of mistakes that cost the World and everything with it, scars of a history he would happily forget. But even at the end of the world, Ven saw a utopia under the rubble.

_In the deepest Darkness, there will always be a sun to pierce the veil, but the Light will blind anything in its path._

_Light, Dark, Dawn, Dusk...There is always an in-between, nothing more, nothing less..._  

The phantom ghosted across the ancient path, hiding the crossroads behind a pitch-black mask.  **"So you followed my advice? Consider yourself lucky the Master didn't follow _you_..."** 

_Another Master..._

Despite how much time passed between his memories and the present, the Masters always looked down on him. That didn't matter now...He was the Master of his own destiny, no matter how it was written.  

_"I don't care about that. And I should thank you, for last night..."_  He unconsciously ran his thumb over the Lu- "Wayfinder", the tempered metal edge sharp enough to pierce his skin, to remind him of the useless wounds he gained chasing the Light.

_"I thought I was all alone in the world, even with everything they gave me...To be honest, I don't know if I got here earlier or later than the others...So, um..."_ His pounding heart drowned out everything else, even the pinprick of blood quenching the dead earth;  _"Can you stay here...until my friends come?"_

 

Even with the expressionless dome, he can sense the sarcasm in the boy's amusement, briefly dampening his morale like the encroaching sun overhead.

**"Do you have _any idea_ what you're doing? Look me in the eyes and tell me you're being serious."** 

He did just that, staring straight into his reflection that twisted and bent his features in this new time. He was no longer the lost child, weak and insecure, no matter how his heart ached to return to those memories of laughter and purity. If he was in the new world, he has to be strong, no matter how the worlds divided them...

But in this mirror, the specter was another reflection, the one who held onto every scar; dwelling in the Darkness behind layers of glitter and gold. 

_"I'm not going alone, and neither should you."_  Confidence boiled in his veins again, _"And besides...I'm sure they'll like you, they're really nice!"_

**"I don't care about that. What if you're just late?"**  

_"But that wouldn't be fair! There has to be five of us...-Well, I guess one more wouldn't hurt...But if I am late, we can just look for them."_ 

He has the skills and the Glider, so the endless horizon of worlds was right in his hands. Despite his endurance, he just hoped they wouldn't be in another wasteland of a world... 

 

Despite the silent protest of his shadowy fiend, he dragged the boy to the dead center of the road, relishing the frigidness in those ironic black veins. If luck was in their favor, they could just chat to pass the time, maybe read his book, some other stuff here and there...As long as he had some company, he was alright with everything else thrown in his way.

**"Are you serious about this?"** He annoyingly hissed as Ven plopped down on the dirt, ignorant of the dust clinging to his shorts.

_"You'll get heatstroke if you stand like that. Besides, if it gets too hot, we can move towards the Fissure. But just-...Just for a while, okay? It won't be too bad, promise."_  

Past that blank slate, he could sense another scowl, possibly with his childish persistence. Perhaps old habits died hard...Thankfully, there was another muffled sigh, taking his spot beside the blonde.

 

**"Don't bother me, alright?"**

_"Sure thing."_ Unfortunately so, with conversations off the list, Ven quietly took out the waiting tome, safe from the howling winds of time. Even with the dreadful blaze and his only companion grumbling bitterly at the thought, he was happy either way.

The silence was a precious gift, but he would gladly trade every minute for the happiness he found, his heart soaring with dreams of those joyful voices, gentle hands, and grateful smiles. For now, he wouldn't care if a day or a year passed them by...As long as his heart was in the right place, he could overcome anything.

Sooner than later, he would be found, and he can finally go home.


End file.
